~emptyEYE

its been very harsh and long time for me, and it is still on....
Being away from a sound sleep since so many days....i even dont remember.
it was so difficult for me to write anything for the photos or journal.....
wen thoughts came to my mind i cudnt write and wen i cud, thoughts were just playing hide-n-seek with me.
i am still not able to understand the logical relationship between the inputs i put and the outputs i am facing. it has been all along wierd but i had to face.and i still dont know for how much time such things are going to occur and what else is written in the future , but i will have to accept.
reality seemes to be worse than nightmares. nights are always prefered ,these days, as the things remain hidden in the blancket of darkness but it rotts in there and makes all my dreams uncomfortable , undesirable.
These days it was so difficult to write anything , luckily yesterday at around o2oo hrs i cud jot down few lines in my cell phone.
My mind is gull of un-understandable questions and thay just keep on piercing me . I have taken so many photos but dont feel to upload any and words just betray wenevr i try to think. i know and only i , how difficult it is to be in this place and to still keep eyes open and be upright and be optimistic...watever...
whatevr dreams , fantasies, imagination and thinking i had about several things in life and emotions, seem to be proved wrong ,all the beautiful things in life and all beautiful opinions abt anything in life. it seems like i am failing , feels like am a fool to think in such a way. i know i cud be but i dont know i hav inside un-conquerable ,undying unstoppable spirit . like however u hold the candle, flame always is upword.
but again ,still how much i will have to ?
lets see

remeber few lines from a hindi movie'Lage raho munnabhai'

"tenson nahi leneka...bapune bola,apna kaam apun karte raineka....
...sabkuch acchhahi hoga.."
and i personaly believe even before i had seen this movie.

it means" do not take tension...baapu(Mahatma Gandhi) has said, ' we should continue to do our good work..... all good will happen.."

i am just waiting for a good photo to match with my first so called kind of poem (i dont knw wat shud i call it ...its not grt but still FIRST one... must be special for me ... it will always be ...FIRST one)
amen